the end...and then hope!!
By the time I was sent to Miami, I had begun to develop a belief that God might just have a role in my life. This was difficult to reconcile in that I’d spent most of my adult life ignoring him. Here’s what happened:
I was all set to go to a place called the Village but when I got there, there had been a screw-up in the paperwork and there would be at least a two-week wait to get in. I’m in Miami. I don’t know anyone that I can stay with. I did not know what to do. Stranded. Penniless. The counselor made some frantic calls and was able to get me a bed at a place called Rainbow Ministries.
Rainbow Ministries was to be a six-month program and was located in the Brownsville section of Miami. When they picked me up to get there, I said to myself, “This could be an adventure.” The driver was the largest black man that I have ever seen in my life. There was a strung-out black man in the passenger seat, a mildly retarded Jamaican man and another black guy just in from Cuba were passengers as well. After a long drive to the center, I realized that this was a “home-made” re-hab but would be okay. I would be safe. There were many adventures there but the best part was that I was able to go to school for the first time since 1968. I wanted to learn a little bit about computers. The program found the resources to pay for the classes and the books and I wound up studying to be an Administrative Assistant. I ah also hesitatingly started to say a simple prayer before I went to bed at night.
After a couple of months at school, the director of Rainbow decide that since I was getting so good with computers that I could start making some little bit of money by taking care of the records in the office. Now…here is an example of what the power of drugs and alcohol can do. I found out through the records that the director of the program was embezzling money. As it turned out, he also had a nasty crack-cocaine habit!! When I had to report the money part to the funding agency, they ran a real investigation, found $85,000 missing and promptly shut down the program! The director ran to New York, where he had come from and I don’t know what happened after that. Because I was still in school, I was sent to the Homeless Assistance Center in Miami where I spent two weeks. Because I had come from a ‘treatment center’, they sent me to another one from the HAC. I was sent to a place called Riverside Ministries Outreach.
Riverside was to be the very first recognizable miracle in my present life. By this time, I was praying regularly and making an honest effort to let go. I had four classes left to finish the semester in school, but because of a thirty-day quarantine, it was doubtful as to whether I could attend or not. I told them that I would do whatever they wanted me to, as I was willing to do anything it took to stay sober. They let me finish the one semester and found the funding for me to enroll in the next one. This was a real program and not a homemade re-hab. In addition to school, there were classes and meetings to get to at the center. There were sessions with a counselor. There was a lot of hard work. I was determined to stay sober-no matter what.
One night, while whining to my counselor about something that I can’t even remember, he handed me the last thing in the world that I expected. Being an alcoholic in earlyish recovery, I, of course, was looking for a pat on the head or to be comforted about whatever. Robert handed me The Recovery Bible, with a bookmark placed at the start of the Serenity Prayer Study. This changed my entire life. Right then and there. Forever. I will never forget that night as long as I live. This was the “flash of light”, the epiphany, the Grace of God entering my life. In a flash, I came to understand that if I put God first in everything that I do, then my life becomes limitless. I, through trust and faith, can be anything that I want to be and do anything that I want to.
At the end of that six-month program I had to find meaningful work and a place to live. I do not like Miami at all, so on an impulse I contacted the halfway house (in Key West) that I had been in so many years ago. I was invited back and found a place that had grown considerably from the one house. I came in as a client, willing to do whatever it took. I rejoined my group at the AA Clubhouse. I got involved in service work. I re-established relationships. I could list coincidence after coincidence but it would take too long right now. My prayer life has strengthened. My faith and trust grows daily. I will do anything to stay sober.
After a couple of months, I was made a monitor – sort of like a babysitter at night. A little bit after that, I was offered the job of Program Manager! I am now responsible to keep this phase of the program running! I have enrolled in school to become a Certified Abuse Counselor and will start those classes when I get back from vacation (that’s right- vacation!).
I start each day with prayer followed by a God Morning message to my sponsor (who has shared about that part so much that several other people have asked to be included on my ‘mailing list’). I read the Coffee Pot, and often share something of my day there. I go to the AA clubhouse and make the coffee for the morning meeting. I chair the meeting once a week. I have a large role in the management of the clubhouse. And then there’s the real (paid) job here at the halfway house. I also have time to fit in special projects (like a meditation garden that I built for my good friend, Ronney). My day ends on my knees, often with tears of gratitude running down my cheeks.
Today I am proud of what and who I am. Today I can face the world and know that I don’t have to hide. Today I am sober. Today I have a God who is actively involved in my life – as long as I allow Him to be. Today life is good.
Thanks for allowing me to share. Sorry it’s so long. The consolation is that it could have been much longer. As time goes by, I expect that I’ll fill in some of the details and blank spots – a little bit at a time. I will also try to share the day-to-day adventures of being sober in Key West.
Love and Peace from Key West and from….Chris.
I was all set to go to a place called the Village but when I got there, there had been a screw-up in the paperwork and there would be at least a two-week wait to get in. I’m in Miami. I don’t know anyone that I can stay with. I did not know what to do. Stranded. Penniless. The counselor made some frantic calls and was able to get me a bed at a place called Rainbow Ministries.
Rainbow Ministries was to be a six-month program and was located in the Brownsville section of Miami. When they picked me up to get there, I said to myself, “This could be an adventure.” The driver was the largest black man that I have ever seen in my life. There was a strung-out black man in the passenger seat, a mildly retarded Jamaican man and another black guy just in from Cuba were passengers as well. After a long drive to the center, I realized that this was a “home-made” re-hab but would be okay. I would be safe. There were many adventures there but the best part was that I was able to go to school for the first time since 1968. I wanted to learn a little bit about computers. The program found the resources to pay for the classes and the books and I wound up studying to be an Administrative Assistant. I ah also hesitatingly started to say a simple prayer before I went to bed at night.
After a couple of months at school, the director of Rainbow decide that since I was getting so good with computers that I could start making some little bit of money by taking care of the records in the office. Now…here is an example of what the power of drugs and alcohol can do. I found out through the records that the director of the program was embezzling money. As it turned out, he also had a nasty crack-cocaine habit!! When I had to report the money part to the funding agency, they ran a real investigation, found $85,000 missing and promptly shut down the program! The director ran to New York, where he had come from and I don’t know what happened after that. Because I was still in school, I was sent to the Homeless Assistance Center in Miami where I spent two weeks. Because I had come from a ‘treatment center’, they sent me to another one from the HAC. I was sent to a place called Riverside Ministries Outreach.
Riverside was to be the very first recognizable miracle in my present life. By this time, I was praying regularly and making an honest effort to let go. I had four classes left to finish the semester in school, but because of a thirty-day quarantine, it was doubtful as to whether I could attend or not. I told them that I would do whatever they wanted me to, as I was willing to do anything it took to stay sober. They let me finish the one semester and found the funding for me to enroll in the next one. This was a real program and not a homemade re-hab. In addition to school, there were classes and meetings to get to at the center. There were sessions with a counselor. There was a lot of hard work. I was determined to stay sober-no matter what.
One night, while whining to my counselor about something that I can’t even remember, he handed me the last thing in the world that I expected. Being an alcoholic in earlyish recovery, I, of course, was looking for a pat on the head or to be comforted about whatever. Robert handed me The Recovery Bible, with a bookmark placed at the start of the Serenity Prayer Study. This changed my entire life. Right then and there. Forever. I will never forget that night as long as I live. This was the “flash of light”, the epiphany, the Grace of God entering my life. In a flash, I came to understand that if I put God first in everything that I do, then my life becomes limitless. I, through trust and faith, can be anything that I want to be and do anything that I want to.
At the end of that six-month program I had to find meaningful work and a place to live. I do not like Miami at all, so on an impulse I contacted the halfway house (in Key West) that I had been in so many years ago. I was invited back and found a place that had grown considerably from the one house. I came in as a client, willing to do whatever it took. I rejoined my group at the AA Clubhouse. I got involved in service work. I re-established relationships. I could list coincidence after coincidence but it would take too long right now. My prayer life has strengthened. My faith and trust grows daily. I will do anything to stay sober.
After a couple of months, I was made a monitor – sort of like a babysitter at night. A little bit after that, I was offered the job of Program Manager! I am now responsible to keep this phase of the program running! I have enrolled in school to become a Certified Abuse Counselor and will start those classes when I get back from vacation (that’s right- vacation!).
I start each day with prayer followed by a God Morning message to my sponsor (who has shared about that part so much that several other people have asked to be included on my ‘mailing list’). I read the Coffee Pot, and often share something of my day there. I go to the AA clubhouse and make the coffee for the morning meeting. I chair the meeting once a week. I have a large role in the management of the clubhouse. And then there’s the real (paid) job here at the halfway house. I also have time to fit in special projects (like a meditation garden that I built for my good friend, Ronney). My day ends on my knees, often with tears of gratitude running down my cheeks.
Today I am proud of what and who I am. Today I can face the world and know that I don’t have to hide. Today I am sober. Today I have a God who is actively involved in my life – as long as I allow Him to be. Today life is good.
Thanks for allowing me to share. Sorry it’s so long. The consolation is that it could have been much longer. As time goes by, I expect that I’ll fill in some of the details and blank spots – a little bit at a time. I will also try to share the day-to-day adventures of being sober in Key West.
Love and Peace from Key West and from….Chris.
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