Saturday, ramblings and thoughts - Autumn '05
I’m typing this out in MS Word, as there seem to be countless interruptions tonight.
It’s been a long and wonderful, though sometimes a little sad. One of the otters got a Barry Manilow CD (The best of??). I could only listen to so much of it before I asked him to wait until I was off duty to play any more. I have nothing against Barry Manilow. I actually like a lot of his tunes, but some of them make me cry and set me in a mood where I start to remember (or fantasize) what I “could have had”. That’s not a place where this alcoholic should venture – ever.
Tom covered for me at the house for a couple of hours while I went to the restaurant and got the lumber for the roof in place. The restaurant is having a very difficult time in understanding that I have a “real” job and it is not at Willie T’s. I cannot be there every time a light bulb needs to be changed. When the place was actually my ‘career’, well then I was there when anything needed to be done, but life moves on. I sometimes I want to cry at the mismanagement that I see, but it is out of my hands now. Ronney has degenerated to the point where she either doesn’t know or she cannot do anything about what is going on there. It’s sad, but life still moves on and I grow and I change – we all do. The “wonder years” were exactly that and nobody can take what Ronney, Steve, and I had built away from us. Willie T’s will (sooner rather than later) die or get sold or simply cease to exist as we’ve known it.
My own health has many people concerned. I am (for a change) concerned as well. I have always been healthy and filled with life while I was sober. I’m not worried, just concerned that whatever is going on can be dealt with before major problems may set in. In the past, I would simply ignore warning signs, hoping that whatever it was would go away. So...Monday is a whole series of tests and a round of doctor’s appointments and we’ll try to get to the bottom of all of these minute blackouts and momentary dizzy spells. I also need to get to the optometrist and have my eyes checked. Probably need new glasses. It’s been over a year since the last check. Sheesh!...I never used to have to think about any of this stuff. The machine at the supermarket says that my blood pressure is normal and that I’m about five pounds overweight. The machine lies. I am at least ten pounds overweight!
Enough of all that – Guess I had to get some of it out. I am grateful to be alive and sober today. Little bumps in the road cannot subvert my faith in God, nor can these bumps give me a reason to drink. I will continue to read from the BB and work and live the steps on a daily basis. That’s the reason that I am able to say “Life is good, very good indeed.”
‘Talk’ to all’y’all later. Love and Peace from Key West and from ...Chris.
It’s been a long and wonderful, though sometimes a little sad. One of the otters got a Barry Manilow CD (The best of??). I could only listen to so much of it before I asked him to wait until I was off duty to play any more. I have nothing against Barry Manilow. I actually like a lot of his tunes, but some of them make me cry and set me in a mood where I start to remember (or fantasize) what I “could have had”. That’s not a place where this alcoholic should venture – ever.
Tom covered for me at the house for a couple of hours while I went to the restaurant and got the lumber for the roof in place. The restaurant is having a very difficult time in understanding that I have a “real” job and it is not at Willie T’s. I cannot be there every time a light bulb needs to be changed. When the place was actually my ‘career’, well then I was there when anything needed to be done, but life moves on. I sometimes I want to cry at the mismanagement that I see, but it is out of my hands now. Ronney has degenerated to the point where she either doesn’t know or she cannot do anything about what is going on there. It’s sad, but life still moves on and I grow and I change – we all do. The “wonder years” were exactly that and nobody can take what Ronney, Steve, and I had built away from us. Willie T’s will (sooner rather than later) die or get sold or simply cease to exist as we’ve known it.
My own health has many people concerned. I am (for a change) concerned as well. I have always been healthy and filled with life while I was sober. I’m not worried, just concerned that whatever is going on can be dealt with before major problems may set in. In the past, I would simply ignore warning signs, hoping that whatever it was would go away. So...Monday is a whole series of tests and a round of doctor’s appointments and we’ll try to get to the bottom of all of these minute blackouts and momentary dizzy spells. I also need to get to the optometrist and have my eyes checked. Probably need new glasses. It’s been over a year since the last check. Sheesh!...I never used to have to think about any of this stuff. The machine at the supermarket says that my blood pressure is normal and that I’m about five pounds overweight. The machine lies. I am at least ten pounds overweight!
Enough of all that – Guess I had to get some of it out. I am grateful to be alive and sober today. Little bumps in the road cannot subvert my faith in God, nor can these bumps give me a reason to drink. I will continue to read from the BB and work and live the steps on a daily basis. That’s the reason that I am able to say “Life is good, very good indeed.”
‘Talk’ to all’y’all later. Love and Peace from Key West and from ...Chris.
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